Hey Hey Howdy my wonderful blog peeps!
Okay..soo...It's been a little bit since I'veupdated this thing.
#EpicFail, right!!?
Okay so I'm about 48 hours-ish from being free of my slave driver...Err...Praise Team dick-tator...err...the person that literally holds my scholarship in his evil little hands.
But I digress.
In all seriousness, I'm currently dealing with a family crisis...
At the moment I'm sitting in Hillcrest ICU with my mom...and yes.. Yes there is a patient computer to use in the rooms.
But back to being serious.
My family...myself included...have had a relatively trying year healthwise.
I will definitely say that through this, we're trusting God to carry us through this trial.
But..lemme back up.
Okay so last night I was in our dining room studying for a final in Sein's class..and my mom came in with shortness of breath and had me take her to the ER.
To lighten the somberness of this, lemme tell ya...that was one epic drive.
But back to the point of the matter...
We still don't have any clear answers and will get more info tomorrow...
but when we came up to the hospital..that for the record...Yes..does have a patient computer...and the damn thing is better than my laptop...
My dad was like "She looks so much better than she did this morning..."
When my dad came home from being with her this morning while I was sleeping off the effects of my all nighter...we both had like major emotional breakdowns.
I think I cried from the moment he came home which was like 4:15..we left around 5:00...and then we got here around 6:00ish...
I finally stopped when we were about 10 minutes away from Hillcrest.
I normally do this kind of thing behind closed doors but I honest to God have never been more scared.
The good news is that she's doing better...
So here's to hoping and praying that they get all of this figured out and fixed ASAP.
Also note that upon using this amazing Godsend of a computer...I checked to see if Sein uploaded my grade...
Guess who got a 90 on this Anatomy final??!!
THIS KID!!
I told my mom about it and she was all excited..that's gotta be a good sign, right??
Well..I'm gonna go ahead and end this here...
Peace out, Girl Scouts!!
Monday, December 5, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
There Goes My Life
Hey!
Okay so it has been some time since I’ve posted anything on this.
Because I am such an awesome blogger…I think it’s time for me to really open up about everything that’s happened this far this semester.
I will say that for those that are following me on Facebook, you pretty well know how I’ve felt about everything that’s happened this semester. It’s been a crazy ride.
Uhm…I know that I say a lot on my Facebook statuses and Tweets…but deep down, I really do love the praise team.
Even though I hate the leadership…or a lack thereof…I really do feel like I was born to worship.
As much as I love to worship and as much as I love my friends on the praise team…I feel like I’m stuck in a life that I did not agree to.
I feel like I’m losing myself more and more each day.
It sucks that a ministry group could cause this much drama and this much crap.
It sucks that I feel deep in my heart that the more I stay with this group, the more and more I feel like I am totally losing control of who I am and who I really want to be.
It sucks even more that a group that is supposed to help me become a better and stronger Christian woman is instead making me more and more bitter and all the more jaded.
I feel like it’s forming me into someone that I don’t even recognize.
It sucks that after the past year and a half, when I look in the mirror, I don’t even recognize the girl that’s looking back at me.
It really sucks that this is where I am and this is really is definitely NOT a life that I would have chosen for myself.
As for whether or not that I would do another praise and worship group again, It’s debatable.
Sometimes I want to say…yes….other times…after experiencing all of the work that goes into a choir and all of that, I really don’t think that I would want to do something like this ever again.
Moving on from the “Taking a walk down memory lane” portion of this post….we take a giant leap to the present.
Okay so…
I will have to say…because of how worn-down I’ve become from all of this…and how I constantly feel like I’m being dragged down from all of this.
It sucks.
Because of all of this, I feel like there was some definite irreparable damage done.
Because of how far I feel like I was pushed this semester, I’ve begun the application process to Northeastern State.
I’ll get my decision letter this week.
I’m scared shitless.
This is gonna be a week that’s gonna be full of nerves, freak-out, and maybe some meltdowns thrown into the mix.
Mmmkayy..I think this is all I wanted to say at this point.
I’ll either add or post a new blog later in the week!!
Deuces!!
Deuces!!
Peace out, Girl Scout!!
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
The Reconciliation of a College Student
Hey...so for those that have been following my blog..you may have noticed how one-sided and bitter I may have seemed.
After taking a month or so deciding whether or not I was going to make this public....
I have decided that I am NOT going to make it as public as I had originally planned. There are several reasons for this.
The main reason being that the only reason I even started this was based solely on my own bitterness and therefore, was doing it straight up out of spite.
After spending a semester at Bacone..I have decided that even though there have been a lot of problems with the praise team and the academic leadership..or lack thereof..at said upper education establishment...I've come to the realization that I was doing this blog for all of the wrong reasons.
Like I said, I was doing this just as an 'In your face' type of thing.
After spending a lot of time soul searching and going over and over in my mind about what to do and whether or not I was gonna go through with posting this blog URL to my Facebook page...the ending result being a question that I kept asking myself...
"If I post this on Facebook...what am I really trying to prove?"
Am I doing this just to..in my mind..retaliate...or..am I really doing this to move forward from all that I had to deal with my last few months at Family of Faith?
At the end of the day, I realized that if I do make it public and if I do make it known that this is something that I have been hiding for so many months, I would just be feeding into my own bitterness and at the same time...Hell...that's all I would be doing. hahaha.
So...as for the fact that I did nothing constructive/productive in this blog other than just talking in circles....
I'm more than likely gonna end it here...
So take it for what it's worth....hahaha.
Peace out, Girl scout!
After taking a month or so deciding whether or not I was going to make this public....
I have decided that I am NOT going to make it as public as I had originally planned. There are several reasons for this.
The main reason being that the only reason I even started this was based solely on my own bitterness and therefore, was doing it straight up out of spite.
After spending a semester at Bacone..I have decided that even though there have been a lot of problems with the praise team and the academic leadership..or lack thereof..at said upper education establishment...I've come to the realization that I was doing this blog for all of the wrong reasons.
Like I said, I was doing this just as an 'In your face' type of thing.
After spending a lot of time soul searching and going over and over in my mind about what to do and whether or not I was gonna go through with posting this blog URL to my Facebook page...the ending result being a question that I kept asking myself...
"If I post this on Facebook...what am I really trying to prove?"
Am I doing this just to..in my mind..retaliate...or..am I really doing this to move forward from all that I had to deal with my last few months at Family of Faith?
At the end of the day, I realized that if I do make it public and if I do make it known that this is something that I have been hiding for so many months, I would just be feeding into my own bitterness and at the same time...Hell...that's all I would be doing. hahaha.
So...as for the fact that I did nothing constructive/productive in this blog other than just talking in circles....
I'm more than likely gonna end it here...
So take it for what it's worth....hahaha.
Peace out, Girl scout!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Wherever I Go Originally written 5-10-11
Here we are now
Everything's about to change
We face tomorrow
As we say good-bye to yesterday
A chapter ending but the story's
Only just begun
A page is turning for everyone
So I'm moving on
Letting go
Holding on to tomorrow
I've always got the memories
While I'm finding out
Who I'm gonna be
We mught be apart but
I hope you'll always know
You'll be with me
Wherever I go
So excited
I can barely even catch my breath
We have each other
To lean on for the road ahead
A happy ending
Is the start of all our dreams
And I know your heart is with me
So I'm moving on
Letting go
Holding on to tomorrow
I've always got the memories
While I finding out who I'm gonna be
We might be apart but
I hope you'll always know
You'll be with me
Wherever I go
It's time to show the world
That we've got something to say
A song to sing out loud
We'll never fade away
I know I'll miss you
But we'll meet again someday
So I'm moving on
Letting go
Holding on to tomorrow
I've always got the memories
While I'm finding out who I'm gonna be
We might be apart
But I hope you'll always know
You'll be with me
Wherever I go
So I'm moving on
Letting go
Holding on to tomorrow
I've always got the memories
While I find out
Who I'm gonna be
We might be apart
But I hope you'll always know
You'll be with me
Wherever I go
Wherever I go
Wherever I go
Wherever I go
Okay so I had my US History final this morning, came back, crashed...studied for Theology..and here I am now..it is 7:35 on Tuesday night and I go home Thursday for good.
And yes..I did seriously just quote a Hannah Whoretana..er..Montana song.
Don't judge me!! LOL!!
Right now I'm munching on a delish salad and studying for my Theology II final tomorrow night.
I've gotta say..it feels so weird that tomorrow is gonna be it. Tomorrow will be my last night in Shawnee forever.
Tomorrow will be my last night sleeping in that bed. Sleeping in this room.
This will be one of the final journal entries written in this room.
It feels so weird that when I go home Thursday morning, my blog will be hella blown up with all the entries I've written the past few months that will be finally made public.
Looking back, I know ther were so many things that I would have done differently. Even though I swore up and down that I wasn't gonna leave this place with regrets...With as many things that I would do differently..There are twice as many things that I've done at Family of Faith that I unfortunately DO regret doing.
It pisses me off to know that there were things that went on this year that shouldn't have and there are things that didn't happen that should.
God. It freaking sucks that I have essentially wasted this whole year..and what do I have to show for it? Absolutely nothing.
Honest to God...I really do feel like this year was a total waste. Nothing changd. If anything, I think I'm more screwed up now than I was when I came in. In all honesty...I do feel like I was brain washed into coming here. I feel like when I came here, everyone was supportive..but when it all comes down to it..when I needed support...no one was there for me. I have never felt so alone or alienated ever in my life. I feel like no one was really here for me. I feel like I was essentially being set up to fail since fucking day one!!
It hurts me to know that if I hadn't of been so caught up in everything that happened with the praise team and all of that senseless and useless crap..I could have just been a semester behind.
Hell..I could have possibly been a junior by now.
It makes me sick to know that this whole year has been a waste..
Academically..I've accomplished nothing.
Spiritually...I'm the same as when I came.
The really sad part about this whole thing is that the only thing I HAVE accomplished is the fact that Ict of being away from the parents for a year kind of made me realize that I needed to be out on my own.
When I was at home, I felt stuck and I wasn't growing and I wasn't developing...
Being out on my own..I had to do it and I wanted t odo it.
On another aspect..I will definitely miss my friends and classmates. To tell you the truth...
even this morning during the final..I wanted to break into tears because of the fact that the majoity of the people in that room were pople that I would never see again. Thank God for texting and Facebook.
That's all I gotta say.
After said brutal final..
I went up to the library and saw 2 seniors. As we were leaving to go to the dorms...I had to say goodbye to them.
I was fighting tears so bad you don't even know.
We hugged and aside from almost becoming an emotional wreck, it was time to go.
I know that this is just the etip of the iceburg and the tears are yet to come.
Seeing everyone in class tomorrow night is gonna be hell.
It's gonna friggin' suck saying goodbye because that's it. This is the end.
This is definitely the end of the road.
Tomorrow is the end of this adventure.
First thing thursday morning, I'm packing the last of my stuff and going home for the next chapter of my life.
I guess you could say that this is a definite modern day version of the Prodigal Son.
I'm going home where I know that God wants me and where I belong.
I've come to the conclusion that even though I am grateful that I was given a chance to be here, I know that I wasn't meant to stay here longer than I had planned. To quote LT "Just come home...it's time to come home..just come home".
If there's one thing that I've learned by being here for a year..it's that you never know what you've got until it's gone.
Family of Faith..to some extent, I'll miss you.
Bacone, I love you with all my heart and I'm ready to see what shenanigans you and I get into this summer and fall.
Let's rock, baby!
On a lighter note..it feels so weird that this adventure is over.
It seems like 2 weeks ago I was moving in and now I'm getting ready to move out..or..finish..moving out..either way..hahaha.
It's so crazy how fast the time flies.
I honestly thought that when it catually came down to the days of me moving out..I would wonder that if I could go back and doi it all again...would I?
The answer: Undecided.
Part of me wants to say "Yes, I would."
Another part fo me says "If I could, how would I know that I would make different decisions and not just make the same ones over again and make more mistakes, waste more time and money"...and for an education that I could get elsewhere with people who actually care if I succeed and who are there to laugh with me and cry with me when I fall fall short.
This is why I love Bacone.
Even with all of the immorality...at least the people at Bacone really do have your best interests at heart.
Whereas..I didn't get that feeling at Family of Faith.
It seems like you'e being set up to fail from the second you walk in the door.
I honestly feel like I was nothing but a number.
Nothing but a paycheck.
I've said it before and I will say it again:: I really do feel like I've joined a cult.
It hurts me because as much as I want to defend the school...I cannot in good conscience recommend this college to anyone at this point and time of my existence.
It sucks but it is what it is.
I hate it.
I hate constantly being torn down and bitched at for every little thing because my faith isn't strong enough and I was never good enough.
I hated the meetings every God damn day about how a low test grade was equal to "Slapping God in the face".
I hate being told that I'm not good enough.
Most of all..I hate the "Holier than thou" bull shit that I've had to put up with every damn day since I've been here.
It sucks.
I've let one man dictate every little thing I do all my life and I will be DAMNED if I let someone else do the same damn thing.
I hate how everyone gets so involved in my personal life with phone calls and texts out the ying yang.
I swear on all that is mother effing holy...
I honest to God do feel like I was kind of forced into coming here.
I swear to God...Show me someone who is so damn close to godliness that can prophesy!!
Ughh..I swear that I will regret the day I came here every day for the rest of my life.
I will NEVER MAKE THIS DECISION AGAIN EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mark. My. Words.
Soo...there you have a year's worth of venting..now that that's all said and done...
I feel a lot better about everything.
Peace Out, Girl Scout!
Everything's about to change
We face tomorrow
As we say good-bye to yesterday
A chapter ending but the story's
Only just begun
A page is turning for everyone
So I'm moving on
Letting go
Holding on to tomorrow
I've always got the memories
While I'm finding out
Who I'm gonna be
We mught be apart but
I hope you'll always know
You'll be with me
Wherever I go
So excited
I can barely even catch my breath
We have each other
To lean on for the road ahead
A happy ending
Is the start of all our dreams
And I know your heart is with me
So I'm moving on
Letting go
Holding on to tomorrow
I've always got the memories
While I finding out who I'm gonna be
We might be apart but
I hope you'll always know
You'll be with me
Wherever I go
It's time to show the world
That we've got something to say
A song to sing out loud
We'll never fade away
I know I'll miss you
But we'll meet again someday
So I'm moving on
Letting go
Holding on to tomorrow
I've always got the memories
While I'm finding out who I'm gonna be
We might be apart
But I hope you'll always know
You'll be with me
Wherever I go
So I'm moving on
Letting go
Holding on to tomorrow
I've always got the memories
While I find out
Who I'm gonna be
We might be apart
But I hope you'll always know
You'll be with me
Wherever I go
Wherever I go
Wherever I go
Wherever I go
Okay so I had my US History final this morning, came back, crashed...studied for Theology..and here I am now..it is 7:35 on Tuesday night and I go home Thursday for good.
And yes..I did seriously just quote a Hannah Whoretana..er..Montana song.
Don't judge me!! LOL!!
Right now I'm munching on a delish salad and studying for my Theology II final tomorrow night.
I've gotta say..it feels so weird that tomorrow is gonna be it. Tomorrow will be my last night in Shawnee forever.
Tomorrow will be my last night sleeping in that bed. Sleeping in this room.
This will be one of the final journal entries written in this room.
It feels so weird that when I go home Thursday morning, my blog will be hella blown up with all the entries I've written the past few months that will be finally made public.
Looking back, I know ther were so many things that I would have done differently. Even though I swore up and down that I wasn't gonna leave this place with regrets...With as many things that I would do differently..There are twice as many things that I've done at Family of Faith that I unfortunately DO regret doing.
It pisses me off to know that there were things that went on this year that shouldn't have and there are things that didn't happen that should.
God. It freaking sucks that I have essentially wasted this whole year..and what do I have to show for it? Absolutely nothing.
Honest to God...I really do feel like this year was a total waste. Nothing changd. If anything, I think I'm more screwed up now than I was when I came in. In all honesty...I do feel like I was brain washed into coming here. I feel like when I came here, everyone was supportive..but when it all comes down to it..when I needed support...no one was there for me. I have never felt so alone or alienated ever in my life. I feel like no one was really here for me. I feel like I was essentially being set up to fail since fucking day one!!
It hurts me to know that if I hadn't of been so caught up in everything that happened with the praise team and all of that senseless and useless crap..I could have just been a semester behind.
Hell..I could have possibly been a junior by now.
It makes me sick to know that this whole year has been a waste..
Academically..I've accomplished nothing.
Spiritually...I'm the same as when I came.
The really sad part about this whole thing is that the only thing I HAVE accomplished is the fact that Ict of being away from the parents for a year kind of made me realize that I needed to be out on my own.
When I was at home, I felt stuck and I wasn't growing and I wasn't developing...
Being out on my own..I had to do it and I wanted t odo it.
On another aspect..I will definitely miss my friends and classmates. To tell you the truth...
even this morning during the final..I wanted to break into tears because of the fact that the majoity of the people in that room were pople that I would never see again. Thank God for texting and Facebook.
That's all I gotta say.
After said brutal final..
I went up to the library and saw 2 seniors. As we were leaving to go to the dorms...I had to say goodbye to them.
I was fighting tears so bad you don't even know.
We hugged and aside from almost becoming an emotional wreck, it was time to go.
I know that this is just the etip of the iceburg and the tears are yet to come.
Seeing everyone in class tomorrow night is gonna be hell.
It's gonna friggin' suck saying goodbye because that's it. This is the end.
This is definitely the end of the road.
Tomorrow is the end of this adventure.
First thing thursday morning, I'm packing the last of my stuff and going home for the next chapter of my life.
I guess you could say that this is a definite modern day version of the Prodigal Son.
I'm going home where I know that God wants me and where I belong.
I've come to the conclusion that even though I am grateful that I was given a chance to be here, I know that I wasn't meant to stay here longer than I had planned. To quote LT "Just come home...it's time to come home..just come home".
If there's one thing that I've learned by being here for a year..it's that you never know what you've got until it's gone.
Family of Faith..to some extent, I'll miss you.
Bacone, I love you with all my heart and I'm ready to see what shenanigans you and I get into this summer and fall.
Let's rock, baby!
On a lighter note..it feels so weird that this adventure is over.
It seems like 2 weeks ago I was moving in and now I'm getting ready to move out..or..finish..moving out..either way..hahaha.
It's so crazy how fast the time flies.
I honestly thought that when it catually came down to the days of me moving out..I would wonder that if I could go back and doi it all again...would I?
The answer: Undecided.
Part of me wants to say "Yes, I would."
Another part fo me says "If I could, how would I know that I would make different decisions and not just make the same ones over again and make more mistakes, waste more time and money"...and for an education that I could get elsewhere with people who actually care if I succeed and who are there to laugh with me and cry with me when I fall fall short.
This is why I love Bacone.
Even with all of the immorality...at least the people at Bacone really do have your best interests at heart.
Whereas..I didn't get that feeling at Family of Faith.
It seems like you'e being set up to fail from the second you walk in the door.
I honestly feel like I was nothing but a number.
Nothing but a paycheck.
I've said it before and I will say it again:: I really do feel like I've joined a cult.
It hurts me because as much as I want to defend the school...I cannot in good conscience recommend this college to anyone at this point and time of my existence.
It sucks but it is what it is.
I hate it.
I hate constantly being torn down and bitched at for every little thing because my faith isn't strong enough and I was never good enough.
I hated the meetings every God damn day about how a low test grade was equal to "Slapping God in the face".
I hate being told that I'm not good enough.
Most of all..I hate the "Holier than thou" bull shit that I've had to put up with every damn day since I've been here.
It sucks.
I've let one man dictate every little thing I do all my life and I will be DAMNED if I let someone else do the same damn thing.
I hate how everyone gets so involved in my personal life with phone calls and texts out the ying yang.
I swear on all that is mother effing holy...
I honest to God do feel like I was kind of forced into coming here.
I swear to God...Show me someone who is so damn close to godliness that can prophesy!!
Ughh..I swear that I will regret the day I came here every day for the rest of my life.
I will NEVER MAKE THIS DECISION AGAIN EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mark. My. Words.
Soo...there you have a year's worth of venting..now that that's all said and done...
I feel a lot better about everything.
Peace Out, Girl Scout!
The End is just the Beginning! Originally written 5-9-11
Hey!!
So I got to the dorms a little bit ago...I studied for my art final..and that's about it!
Hey..Okay so I just got back from taking my art final...It wasn't too bad.
RIght now I'm studying like an effing maniac for my US History final at the butt crack of mother effing dawn!
Peace out, Girl Scout!
So I got to the dorms a little bit ago...I studied for my art final..and that's about it!
Hey..Okay so I just got back from taking my art final...It wasn't too bad.
RIght now I'm studying like an effing maniac for my US History final at the butt crack of mother effing dawn!
Peace out, Girl Scout!
Happy Mother's Day 5-8-11
Hey!!
Okay so this is gonna be short!
Today I went to church, we went to eat, I studied for my art final...and then we went to see Bobbie! it was soo awesome!
Well, I gotta go study!!!!
Peace out, Girl Scout!
Okay so this is gonna be short!
Today I went to church, we went to eat, I studied for my art final...and then we went to see Bobbie! it was soo awesome!
Well, I gotta go study!!!!
Peace out, Girl Scout!
Another Perfect Day Originally written 5-7-11
Okay soo...
the day that I have (finally!!( bee ns oexcitedly and so anxiously awaiting was finally here!! Today was FINALLY the day of Bacone's graduation!! I am sooo excited but hella nervous about seeing everyone, especially DK, LT, and my favoritest roomie!! Well, I gotta go..Mom's like out the door!
Hey!! Okay so graduation was definitely bittersweet!
Uhm..It was in all actuality pretty funny..we were trying to find someplace to sit...and well..rewind to when we first got to the civic center. We had to walk like FOREVER!! Anyway..when we first got to the loby/foyer whatever..got the little program thingys and went to find seats..now then..hahhaha...so as we were walking into the actual thing...I saw an old friend of mine and he was being a total smart ass as usual..he hugged me and was like "Damn! I've missed you!! Okay..soo..you have to see somone who is even more sarcastic than me!" He led me to JK and it was awesome to see him..if only for a few hours..I felt like I was really part of the praise team again.
A few seconds later, we walked through the doors and..of course..there was LT in all of his commencement gowned up glory! OMG!
We saw each other and I swear to you..it wasn't a walK..but a RUN to each other!
He was really excited to see me and I was pretty stoked to see him. He was like "How are you doing? Can I give you a hug? Well..soon enough, this is gonna be you!"
I was like "I know!! It's so great to see you! I've been great!"
A few minutes later, the ceremony started. I saw DK, some other people..and THE BEST ROOMIE EVER!!
Okay so as she was walking back to her seat..she saw me and practically tackled me after screaming my name..it was soo awesome! Uhm...a friend's parents were also there because they were being honored for some reason or another as part of the ceremony.
I think as awesome as it was to see her..I was...no...as royally pissed off at the fact that aside from maybe the family of one person..there was no one from Destiny there to support her. All I gotta say..it's so great to know what the priorities are for the Destiny people. Damn.
Oh well...
Peace out, Girl Scout!
the day that I have (finally!!( bee ns oexcitedly and so anxiously awaiting was finally here!! Today was FINALLY the day of Bacone's graduation!! I am sooo excited but hella nervous about seeing everyone, especially DK, LT, and my favoritest roomie!! Well, I gotta go..Mom's like out the door!
Hey!! Okay so graduation was definitely bittersweet!
Uhm..It was in all actuality pretty funny..we were trying to find someplace to sit...and well..rewind to when we first got to the civic center. We had to walk like FOREVER!! Anyway..when we first got to the loby/foyer whatever..got the little program thingys and went to find seats..now then..hahhaha...so as we were walking into the actual thing...I saw an old friend of mine and he was being a total smart ass as usual..he hugged me and was like "Damn! I've missed you!! Okay..soo..you have to see somone who is even more sarcastic than me!" He led me to JK and it was awesome to see him..if only for a few hours..I felt like I was really part of the praise team again.
A few seconds later, we walked through the doors and..of course..there was LT in all of his commencement gowned up glory! OMG!
We saw each other and I swear to you..it wasn't a walK..but a RUN to each other!
He was really excited to see me and I was pretty stoked to see him. He was like "How are you doing? Can I give you a hug? Well..soon enough, this is gonna be you!"
I was like "I know!! It's so great to see you! I've been great!"
A few minutes later, the ceremony started. I saw DK, some other people..and THE BEST ROOMIE EVER!!
Okay so as she was walking back to her seat..she saw me and practically tackled me after screaming my name..it was soo awesome! Uhm...a friend's parents were also there because they were being honored for some reason or another as part of the ceremony.
I think as awesome as it was to see her..I was...no...as royally pissed off at the fact that aside from maybe the family of one person..there was no one from Destiny there to support her. All I gotta say..it's so great to know what the priorities are for the Destiny people. Damn.
Oh well...
Peace out, Girl Scout!
Untitled? Originally written 5-6-11
Hey!
well, today was finally friday...I'm seriously like hella excited!!
But okay..soo...the RA went on a Clean Dorm Nazi Patrol and it was a nightmare..once that was all done, I was finally *allowed* to leave.
I think that mom is about as anxious and ready for this semester to be over and done with as I am..It pretty much sucks.
So when we finally got home, I finally got all of the posters and stuff hung back up..well..I'm really friggin tired and am soo supperrr excited for tomorrow!!
Peace out, Girl Scout!
well, today was finally friday...I'm seriously like hella excited!!
But okay..soo...the RA went on a Clean Dorm Nazi Patrol and it was a nightmare..once that was all done, I was finally *allowed* to leave.
I think that mom is about as anxious and ready for this semester to be over and done with as I am..It pretty much sucks.
So when we finally got home, I finally got all of the posters and stuff hung back up..well..I'm really friggin tired and am soo supperrr excited for tomorrow!!
Peace out, Girl Scout!
Saturday, September 24, 2011
A Piece of my Ever-Loving Mind Originally Written 5-5-11
Hey!!
Okay so today was HELL!!
Packing took up the biggest part of the day..Oh, my God..it was insane!!
I had no idea how much stuff I had until I actually started getting it all ready to go..as soon as mom finishes up that meeting tomorrow.
It's prettty safe to say that I am more or less scared shitless about what that dumb broad is gonna tell mom..Mehh...just another week of this bull shit. For what will be most likely one of a million times in the coming week: Coming to Family of Faith from an academic standpoint was probably one of the biggest mistakes of my effing life!!!
Hi, my name is Sarah and I am an effing IDIOT!! #EpicFail!!
Well, I think that's about it!!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Okay so today was HELL!!
Packing took up the biggest part of the day..Oh, my God..it was insane!!
I had no idea how much stuff I had until I actually started getting it all ready to go..as soon as mom finishes up that meeting tomorrow.
It's prettty safe to say that I am more or less scared shitless about what that dumb broad is gonna tell mom..Mehh...just another week of this bull shit. For what will be most likely one of a million times in the coming week: Coming to Family of Faith from an academic standpoint was probably one of the biggest mistakes of my effing life!!!
Hi, my name is Sarah and I am an effing IDIOT!! #EpicFail!!
Well, I think that's about it!!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Just Another Day in Paradise Originally written 5-4-11
Heyy!!
Okay so right now it's about 12:30 at night and right now I've come to the ever-elusive conclusion that I did absolutely nothing productive at all today. Uhm...Yeahh...I've got a shit load of stuff to dot tomorrow. FML!!
Okay so this would be what's left of my to-do list...of which I have the extreme joy and pleasure in completing ALL. DAMN. DAY.:
Laundry
Put up shoes
Put up clothes
Organize pink shelves
Go through clothes
Make grocery list
Gather up homework
Clean out closet
Clean off dressers
Pack
Make resource file
Make lesson plans
This should be fun...especially since I'm taking a shit load of it home on Friday. **Sigh** Also note the fact that my room looks like a mother effing war zone right now.
Ugghhh...Tomorrow is gonna be HELL!!
Okay well I am mother freaking tired and I've got a long ass day of cleaning and packing!!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Okay so right now it's about 12:30 at night and right now I've come to the ever-elusive conclusion that I did absolutely nothing productive at all today. Uhm...Yeahh...I've got a shit load of stuff to dot tomorrow. FML!!
Okay so this would be what's left of my to-do list...of which I have the extreme joy and pleasure in completing ALL. DAMN. DAY.:
Laundry
Put up shoes
Put up clothes
Organize pink shelves
Go through clothes
Make grocery list
Gather up homework
Clean out closet
Clean off dressers
Pack
Make resource file
Make lesson plans
This should be fun...especially since I'm taking a shit load of it home on Friday. **Sigh** Also note the fact that my room looks like a mother effing war zone right now.
Ugghhh...Tomorrow is gonna be HELL!!
Okay well I am mother freaking tired and I've got a long ass day of cleaning and packing!!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Just Another Tuesday Originally written 5-3-11
Heyy!!
Okay so right now I'm listening to a Rascal Flatts song and it's making me think about Sadie. God, I didn't think I would be impacted this much. I guess it just pisses me off to no mother effing end that it takes this kind of shit to make you realize how short and fragile life really is.
So tonight was another step closer to being done with this semester. We had our portfolio showing thing tonight. I think that it went relatively well. I'm really glad that it's finally over and it's one less thing for me to worry about. :-D
Uhm...After that, I got a call from a very good friend of mine. I hadn't heard from him since he called me one night back in 2008 and literally saved my life. It's been quite some time now and I'm so grateful that we're more or less back in contact. He means a great deal to me and he saved my life..what more can you say?? hahaha.
Holy hell...it's 2:15am...
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Okay so right now I'm listening to a Rascal Flatts song and it's making me think about Sadie. God, I didn't think I would be impacted this much. I guess it just pisses me off to no mother effing end that it takes this kind of shit to make you realize how short and fragile life really is.
So tonight was another step closer to being done with this semester. We had our portfolio showing thing tonight. I think that it went relatively well. I'm really glad that it's finally over and it's one less thing for me to worry about. :-D
Uhm...After that, I got a call from a very good friend of mine. I hadn't heard from him since he called me one night back in 2008 and literally saved my life. It's been quite some time now and I'm so grateful that we're more or less back in contact. He means a great deal to me and he saved my life..what more can you say?? hahaha.
Holy hell...it's 2:15am...
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Another day!! Originally written 5-2-11
Hey!! Okay so today has been relatively relaxing. Yeahh...Uhm..again..I had class this mornign and yet again, I got nothing accomplished. this shall be a very interesting and a very late night. Well right now it's 6:20 and I'm just hanging out until it's time to head up to class.
Okay soo...I just got back and I've GOT to get started on this mountain of stuff I have to do.
I'm just gonna end it here. Bahaha!!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Okay soo...I just got back and I've GOT to get started on this mountain of stuff I have to do.
I'm just gonna end it here. Bahaha!!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
These Historic Nights Originally written 5-1-11
"Osama Bin Laden found dead!!"
Hmm..a decade has passed since 9/11/01
Part of me feels happy but another part of me feels like this is just the calm before the storm. Time will tell how this all plays out. So today was my last Sunday at Family of Faith.
Definitely bittersweet...It's so weirdhow fast this whole year went by!!
Uhm..yeahh..well, I'm tired!!
Peace out, Girl scout!
Hmm..a decade has passed since 9/11/01
Part of me feels happy but another part of me feels like this is just the calm before the storm. Time will tell how this all plays out. So today was my last Sunday at Family of Faith.
Definitely bittersweet...It's so weirdhow fast this whole year went by!!
Uhm..yeahh..well, I'm tired!!
Peace out, Girl scout!
The Day from Hell!! Originally Written 4-30-11
Hey!!
Okay so it's currently a little after 3am.
This has been such an eventful, long, dramatic day..not to mention long.
Okay so today we filmed the video for Theology II.
It was a really long and dirty experience.
I was DISGUSTING!!
After I took a shower and ate...I had a really...bittersweet..conversation with LT via Facebook IM.
Okay so LT said how excited he was about me coming back to Bacone and being part of the worship team again.
And then he mentioned that he wasn't going to be with the praise team anymore.
I was like "WHAT THE HELL!?!"
And then he said "That's the good news..you don't have to put up with me next year..I thought you would be happy about that!!"
By this point, I was shaking and was seriously on the verge of tears. I don't know what the hell is going on but I've got a gut feeling that he was forced to step down for one reason or another.
What I do know is that this really, really sucks. Just when things couldn't get worse and/or somber or depressing..they got worse..
Uhm...even as I write this...the very air is heavy with unshed tears.
Uhm..Sadie Wilson was thrown off a 4-wheeler this afternoon and died soon after being taken to the hospital.
I hadn't seen her in a couple of years but it seems so unfair...I've found myself asking "Why?" More times than I really care to admit.
In other ways, it hasn't really hit me yet.
What's more is that when I think of her, I can't help but think about Jordon.
Anyway, it's been a really rough night.
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Okay so it's currently a little after 3am.
This has been such an eventful, long, dramatic day..not to mention long.
Okay so today we filmed the video for Theology II.
It was a really long and dirty experience.
I was DISGUSTING!!
After I took a shower and ate...I had a really...bittersweet..conversation with LT via Facebook IM.
Okay so LT said how excited he was about me coming back to Bacone and being part of the worship team again.
And then he mentioned that he wasn't going to be with the praise team anymore.
I was like "WHAT THE HELL!?!"
And then he said "That's the good news..you don't have to put up with me next year..I thought you would be happy about that!!"
By this point, I was shaking and was seriously on the verge of tears. I don't know what the hell is going on but I've got a gut feeling that he was forced to step down for one reason or another.
What I do know is that this really, really sucks. Just when things couldn't get worse and/or somber or depressing..they got worse..
Uhm...even as I write this...the very air is heavy with unshed tears.
Uhm..Sadie Wilson was thrown off a 4-wheeler this afternoon and died soon after being taken to the hospital.
I hadn't seen her in a couple of years but it seems so unfair...I've found myself asking "Why?" More times than I really care to admit.
In other ways, it hasn't really hit me yet.
What's more is that when I think of her, I can't help but think about Jordon.
Anyway, it's been a really rough night.
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Thank God Friday is Finally Here!! Originally written 4-29-11
Hey!!
So right now I'm sitting in the library and it's been a relatively bsy and hectic morning.
I had a dream that I slept through everything and woke up freaking the hell out...Like I seriously about flipped the fuck out.
Okay so I had this wild ass crazy dream that I slept through John's class. I was honest to God almost in tears!
I checked my phone and was up in plenty of time for class.
After class...I helped clean the college building, went to Subway to grab lunch...
Right now it's 3pm and I need a couple hours to chill before I move onto more cleaning and homework.
Bahaha!!
Hey! I'm back!
Okay so right now it's after 2am and I am freaking tired..I got nothing accomplished so I'm just gonna end this here.
Peace out, Girl scout!!
So right now I'm sitting in the library and it's been a relatively bsy and hectic morning.
I had a dream that I slept through everything and woke up freaking the hell out...Like I seriously about flipped the fuck out.
Okay so I had this wild ass crazy dream that I slept through John's class. I was honest to God almost in tears!
I checked my phone and was up in plenty of time for class.
After class...I helped clean the college building, went to Subway to grab lunch...
Right now it's 3pm and I need a couple hours to chill before I move onto more cleaning and homework.
Bahaha!!
Hey! I'm back!
Okay so right now it's after 2am and I am freaking tired..I got nothing accomplished so I'm just gonna end this here.
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Just Another Day in the Life of Sarah Originally written 4-28-11
Hey!!
Okay so it is technically Friday morning..uhm..yeah..I'm still wide awake which is gonna suck when I go to class..but anyway..today was relaxing. I slept in, hung out...met with the stupid bitch which again pissed me off..oh well..three more sessions.
I ran there and back and thought that I was gonna die. Mehh..hahaha..
I'm staying here this weekend which is great because I have a shitload of homework to do...plus my room looks like a war zone. I also need to map out my week and figure out what goes home with me next weekend.
Anyway, I gotta try to get some sleep!!
Peace out, Girl scout!
Okay so it is technically Friday morning..uhm..yeah..I'm still wide awake which is gonna suck when I go to class..but anyway..today was relaxing. I slept in, hung out...met with the stupid bitch which again pissed me off..oh well..three more sessions.
I ran there and back and thought that I was gonna die. Mehh..hahaha..
I'm staying here this weekend which is great because I have a shitload of homework to do...plus my room looks like a war zone. I also need to map out my week and figure out what goes home with me next weekend.
Anyway, I gotta try to get some sleep!!
Peace out, Girl scout!
Silly Rabbit, Cheetos are for Breakfast!! 4-27-11
Hey!!
Okay so right now, I'm in the library.
I've had a relatively relaxing morning so far.
I got all of my portfolio stuff printed and now I'm gettin' ready to head to US History.
Hey! I'm back!!
Okay so right now, I'm sitting in Theology!
So I kicked ass on my Theology test...It was 20 point boost over the last test.
So I get to meet with Bitch from Hell tomorrow.
Dreading, dreading..Dreading!!My life pretty much sucks.
On a happier note..I have 4 sessions left!!
THANK GOD!!
I don't give a flying fuck if graduation and all that other bull shit is mandatory.
I'm getting the hell out of dodge!I unfortunately am not going home this weekend and am stuck here!
At this point...I don't give a damn about what these corrupt ass peoiple say about this false prophesy bull shit. or what the hell ever over me, claming they're being prompted by God. To be honest, I think that to an extent, I will always be thankful for being able to spend a year here. I would rather leave this experience knowing that I've experienced it..rather than always wonder "what if". I think I also needed to spend a year out on my own to grow up and mature. I also think that I would have regretted not coming here and having this experience.
In other ways, I will always be grateful for having the classroom experience and other classes that have better equipped me for my future career.
In other ways, I wish I had never come here because when I began the process to come here last summer, it seemed like everyone was hard core all like "we love you"...Oh..my God..It's only been an hour..hahaha..I'm gonna be here FOREVER!! Okay..so..Like I was saying...it feels like I'm seriously flying solo because I feel like not one of the admin or what the hell ever does not have my best interests at heart. I honest to God do not feel loved or accepted here.
It pisses me off and it hurts me to absolutely no fucking end that LT of all people was willing to step up and try to reach out and try to help me. It sucks that knowing that I was a biitttccchhhh to him...It seems like when you're a student at Family of Faith...you are nothing but a number.
I hated how everyone was all in my personal life and my personal, private business. It freaking pisses me off knowing htat this is where I'm at. I hate living this life where I have this non shakable feeling of being so confined and so damn suffocated and being like a brainwashed robotic puppet. The silver lining in all of this is the fact that I've learned the fucking ugly unforgiving truth that you never know what you've got until it's gone. Being away from Bacone this year has definitely helped me better appreciate how much I truly love Bacone and how wrong I was for bitching about how I hated the dorms, praise team, and the dramatic BS that I always had to deal with. This experience has ultimately taught me that it's time to come home. It's time to confront the demons and stuff that I ran from. So..time flew by and I have less than an hour left of class. I have a crap load of stuff to do when I get back..Oh..and someone gave me this cute card/note thing. This is what it said:
Sarah:
I pray you would let the truth-God's truth set you free. I pray God will work in your life in major ways. God has a great plan and destiny for your life but you have to choose to walk in it. Sarah, I know you have compassion for others and I pray you would soften your heart again. I pray that you would grow in your walk with God. May God bless and keep you, May His face shine upon you, and be gracious and give you peace (Praying for you!)
Needless to say, that this was extremely needed right now and as much as this particular person pisses me off sometimes, it's great to have the feeling of having at least one person there for me.
Damn, this thing is a lot longer than I thought it would be!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Okay so right now, I'm in the library.
I've had a relatively relaxing morning so far.
I got all of my portfolio stuff printed and now I'm gettin' ready to head to US History.
Hey! I'm back!!
Okay so right now, I'm sitting in Theology!
So I kicked ass on my Theology test...It was 20 point boost over the last test.
So I get to meet with Bitch from Hell tomorrow.
Dreading, dreading..Dreading!!My life pretty much sucks.
On a happier note..I have 4 sessions left!!
THANK GOD!!
I don't give a flying fuck if graduation and all that other bull shit is mandatory.
I'm getting the hell out of dodge!I unfortunately am not going home this weekend and am stuck here!
At this point...I don't give a damn about what these corrupt ass peoiple say about this false prophesy bull shit. or what the hell ever over me, claming they're being prompted by God. To be honest, I think that to an extent, I will always be thankful for being able to spend a year here. I would rather leave this experience knowing that I've experienced it..rather than always wonder "what if". I think I also needed to spend a year out on my own to grow up and mature. I also think that I would have regretted not coming here and having this experience.
In other ways, I will always be grateful for having the classroom experience and other classes that have better equipped me for my future career.
In other ways, I wish I had never come here because when I began the process to come here last summer, it seemed like everyone was hard core all like "we love you"...Oh..my God..It's only been an hour..hahaha..I'm gonna be here FOREVER!! Okay..so..Like I was saying...it feels like I'm seriously flying solo because I feel like not one of the admin or what the hell ever does not have my best interests at heart. I honest to God do not feel loved or accepted here.
It pisses me off and it hurts me to absolutely no fucking end that LT of all people was willing to step up and try to reach out and try to help me. It sucks that knowing that I was a biitttccchhhh to him...It seems like when you're a student at Family of Faith...you are nothing but a number.
I hated how everyone was all in my personal life and my personal, private business. It freaking pisses me off knowing htat this is where I'm at. I hate living this life where I have this non shakable feeling of being so confined and so damn suffocated and being like a brainwashed robotic puppet. The silver lining in all of this is the fact that I've learned the fucking ugly unforgiving truth that you never know what you've got until it's gone. Being away from Bacone this year has definitely helped me better appreciate how much I truly love Bacone and how wrong I was for bitching about how I hated the dorms, praise team, and the dramatic BS that I always had to deal with. This experience has ultimately taught me that it's time to come home. It's time to confront the demons and stuff that I ran from. So..time flew by and I have less than an hour left of class. I have a crap load of stuff to do when I get back..Oh..and someone gave me this cute card/note thing. This is what it said:
Sarah:
I pray you would let the truth-God's truth set you free. I pray God will work in your life in major ways. God has a great plan and destiny for your life but you have to choose to walk in it. Sarah, I know you have compassion for others and I pray you would soften your heart again. I pray that you would grow in your walk with God. May God bless and keep you, May His face shine upon you, and be gracious and give you peace (Praying for you!)
Needless to say, that this was extremely needed right now and as much as this particular person pisses me off sometimes, it's great to have the feeling of having at least one person there for me.
Damn, this thing is a lot longer than I thought it would be!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
It's a New Dawn! It's a New Day!! Originally written 4-26-11
Hey!!
Okay so today was relatively quiet.
Uhmm...today I slept in until almost 11.
I had a hella crazy dream...Okay so I had this dream that I was back at Bacone, hanging out in the foyer of the chapel like some friends and I used to do.
I guess I was hella tired because when I finally woke up, I had no idea where the hall I was .
It took a minute for me to realize where I was.
Hahaha...So I'm still kind of sad about yesterday but it's not the end of the world.
I met with the ignorant bitch from hell again. She pissed me off.
Anyway...Imma go!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Okay so today was relatively quiet.
Uhmm...today I slept in until almost 11.
I had a hella crazy dream...Okay so I had this dream that I was back at Bacone, hanging out in the foyer of the chapel like some friends and I used to do.
I guess I was hella tired because when I finally woke up, I had no idea where the hall I was .
It took a minute for me to realize where I was.
Hahaha...So I'm still kind of sad about yesterday but it's not the end of the world.
I met with the ignorant bitch from hell again. She pissed me off.
Anyway...Imma go!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Trouble in Paradise? Originally written 4-25-11
Heyy!!
Well, today has to have been one of the shittiest days of my life!! I FX'd English Comp. FMFL!!
God...I swear...I CANNOT LEAVE FAMILY OF FAITH FUCKING FAST ENOUGH!! On the plus side...it will give me more time to focus on my other classes.
I'm just praying to God that Mom doesn't find out.
If she does...I plan on telling her that I bombed the final.
Until I can think of a better plan...I guess that's it. Bahaha.
I'm not sure what I'm more pissed off about....myself or this whole mess of a situation..DAMN!
Oh well..live and learn!!
Unfortunately, the price I paid for this life lesson was pretty hard core.
Anyway, I'm exhausted and I have had one long assed brutal day.
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Well, today has to have been one of the shittiest days of my life!! I FX'd English Comp. FMFL!!
God...I swear...I CANNOT LEAVE FAMILY OF FAITH FUCKING FAST ENOUGH!! On the plus side...it will give me more time to focus on my other classes.
I'm just praying to God that Mom doesn't find out.
If she does...I plan on telling her that I bombed the final.
Until I can think of a better plan...I guess that's it. Bahaha.
I'm not sure what I'm more pissed off about....myself or this whole mess of a situation..DAMN!
Oh well..live and learn!!
Unfortunately, the price I paid for this life lesson was pretty hard core.
Anyway, I'm exhausted and I have had one long assed brutal day.
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Happy Easter!! Originally written 4-24-11
Wow!!
So I started this journal exactly one month ago!!
Okay so today is Easter Sunday!!
Uhmm...yeahh..it's storming AGAIN
Uhhmm...we're about to head to the dorms and it's storming hella crazy right now.
To be totally honest...I'm a little worried about mom coming home alone...
Homework awaits!!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
So I started this journal exactly one month ago!!
Okay so today is Easter Sunday!!
Uhmm...yeahh..it's storming AGAIN
Uhhmm...we're about to head to the dorms and it's storming hella crazy right now.
To be totally honest...I'm a little worried about mom coming home alone...
Homework awaits!!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
My Deliverer, My Messiah, My Redeemer Originally written 4-23-11
Hey!!
Oaky so it looks like today's gonna be a relatively relaxing day since the 'rents are gonna be gone for most of the day. Thank God! Bahaha!!
I'm probably gonna spend the biggest part of the day lounging on the couch!!
Hey!! So mom and I just got back from Las Fuentes...and they're headed out. I'll write more later.
Hey..they just got back and I've spent the last hour straightening my hair. so I logged onto Facebook and saw LT's status about an Easter drama/musical production thing that was being held at Boulevard.
I've never gotten ready for a church thing that fast in my life..EVER!!
So...we just got back. All I can really say is...it was AWESOME!! Okay so it was one of the best productions I've seen in a long time!! It can be compared to the Christmas train..minus the actual train..bahaha!
That's the only way I can really describe it. bahaha!
LT did a solo....SOOO EFFING AMAZING!!
I was like "Holy crap!! That's LT!!" Mom's jaw about hit the ground...she was sooo shocked!!
The only thing that would have made it perfect would have been to be able to see him and give him a hug (Sweet Jebus..did I really just say that?!)
Oh, well...we had to leave anyway to get stuff ready for tomorrow.
Well, this stormy weather is making me soo sleepy!!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Oaky so it looks like today's gonna be a relatively relaxing day since the 'rents are gonna be gone for most of the day. Thank God! Bahaha!!
I'm probably gonna spend the biggest part of the day lounging on the couch!!
Hey!! So mom and I just got back from Las Fuentes...and they're headed out. I'll write more later.
Hey..they just got back and I've spent the last hour straightening my hair. so I logged onto Facebook and saw LT's status about an Easter drama/musical production thing that was being held at Boulevard.
I've never gotten ready for a church thing that fast in my life..EVER!!
So...we just got back. All I can really say is...it was AWESOME!! Okay so it was one of the best productions I've seen in a long time!! It can be compared to the Christmas train..minus the actual train..bahaha!
That's the only way I can really describe it. bahaha!
LT did a solo....SOOO EFFING AMAZING!!
I was like "Holy crap!! That's LT!!" Mom's jaw about hit the ground...she was sooo shocked!!
The only thing that would have made it perfect would have been to be able to see him and give him a hug (Sweet Jebus..did I really just say that?!)
Oh, well...we had to leave anyway to get stuff ready for tomorrow.
Well, this stormy weather is making me soo sleepy!!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
GDO: Girl's Day Out Orignally Written 4-22-11
Hey!!
Okay so today I slept in!!
I eventually woke up and met up with an old friend from high school at the mall!!
We got our nails done together, hung out for a bit..and then I got 2 of those flower/hairbow thingys to go with my Easter outfit.
One was an antique-looking pink (Pretty much the same color as this font) and the other is a black and white feathery one.
After that, we went home and it was storming hella bad.
Oh, my God..we also got my Easter outfit, which included a rockin' pair of Converse.
Okay well...I'm gonna go!!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Okay so today I slept in!!
I eventually woke up and met up with an old friend from high school at the mall!!
We got our nails done together, hung out for a bit..and then I got 2 of those flower/hairbow thingys to go with my Easter outfit.
One was an antique-looking pink (Pretty much the same color as this font) and the other is a black and white feathery one.
After that, we went home and it was storming hella bad.
Oh, my God..we also got my Easter outfit, which included a rockin' pair of Converse.
Okay well...I'm gonna go!!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Don't Forget to Remember Me Orignally written 4-21-11
Hey!!
Okay so today's Thursday..Right now I'm hanging out in the living room..>Dad and I are going to go have dinner later on.
I'm kind of looking forward to it.
Hey! I'm back! Okay so dinner went well...I've missed this a LOT! It makes me hella excited for summer when we have more time to do stuff like this. Well, I'm gonna go relax!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Okay so today's Thursday..Right now I'm hanging out in the living room..>Dad and I are going to go have dinner later on.
I'm kind of looking forward to it.
Hey! I'm back! Okay so dinner went well...I've missed this a LOT! It makes me hella excited for summer when we have more time to do stuff like this. Well, I'm gonna go relax!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
She Wants a Fight, Well Now She's Got One..She Ain't Seen Me Crazy Yet Originally written 4-20-11
Hey!!
Okay so today was one interesting day. Because I am technically skpiing the prayer thing on Friday, The ignorant bitch bitched at me this morning for one stupid ass reason and the dumb ass broad thought I lied to her or some stupid shit like that.
I swear to freaking God...these bitches at Family of Faith and I are going to have it out! Oh my God!!
Okay so I wasn't home ten mother effing minutes before she called the damn house phone...I got bitched at some more and then Dad had to start in on me.
FML!! It freaking pissed me off!!
Well, on a lighter and happier note..I am finally a Bacone student!! HELLS YEAH!
I'm soo excited!!!
Well, I gotta go unpack!!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Okay so today was one interesting day. Because I am technically skpiing the prayer thing on Friday, The ignorant bitch bitched at me this morning for one stupid ass reason and the dumb ass broad thought I lied to her or some stupid shit like that.
I swear to freaking God...these bitches at Family of Faith and I are going to have it out! Oh my God!!
Okay so I wasn't home ten mother effing minutes before she called the damn house phone...I got bitched at some more and then Dad had to start in on me.
FML!! It freaking pissed me off!!
Well, on a lighter and happier note..I am finally a Bacone student!! HELLS YEAH!
I'm soo excited!!!
Well, I gotta go unpack!!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Can We Pretend that Airplanes in the Night Sky are Shooting Stars? Originally written 4-19-11
Hey!!
Okay so today was cool.
It was hella long...I spent 6 hours cleaning and packing to go home tomorrow. I need a few days away from everything. Well, it's really late and I'm really tired so I'm gonna head to bed!!
Oh yeah...and I helped out with that food distribution thing again today...It was one of the more intense ones. I was slightly freaked out but it was fine.
Well, I gotta get to bed.
Peace out!!
Okay so today was cool.
It was hella long...I spent 6 hours cleaning and packing to go home tomorrow. I need a few days away from everything. Well, it's really late and I'm really tired so I'm gonna head to bed!!
Oh yeah...and I helped out with that food distribution thing again today...It was one of the more intense ones. I was slightly freaked out but it was fine.
Well, I gotta get to bed.
Peace out!!
A Looonnnggg-Assed Day!! Originally written 4-18-11
Heyy!
Okay so today I finally had that damn test.
I'm kinda nervous to find out how I did but it should be fine!!
Uhm..Yeahh..I had class tonight and it was okay.
I was really tired. It pretty much sucked.
Bahaha!
Soo yeah, it's really late and I'm tired.
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Okay so today I finally had that damn test.
I'm kinda nervous to find out how I did but it should be fine!!
Uhm..Yeahh..I had class tonight and it was okay.
I was really tired. It pretty much sucked.
Bahaha!
Soo yeah, it's really late and I'm tired.
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Get Down and Study-udy-udy Originally Written 4-17-11
Heyy!!
Okay so I just got back from church.
It was okay. Someone I totally loathe hugged me afterwards and I was thinking "What the Hell?!" It was really awkward. Bahaa!! Uhm...then I came home and started studying for that damn test tomorrow. Well, I'm about to find some food and study some more!!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Okay so I just got back from church.
It was okay. Someone I totally loathe hugged me afterwards and I was thinking "What the Hell?!" It was really awkward. Bahaa!! Uhm...then I came home and started studying for that damn test tomorrow. Well, I'm about to find some food and study some more!!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Another Boring Day Originally Written 4-16-11
Heyy!!
Okay so today's Saturday.
Right now I'm just hanging out in my room...and yeahh..
I should really clean said room but I'm not really feeling it. So yeahh...I'm just gonna end this so I can study for my US History test on Monday.
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Okay so today's Saturday.
Right now I'm just hanging out in my room...and yeahh..
I should really clean said room but I'm not really feeling it. So yeahh...I'm just gonna end this so I can study for my US History test on Monday.
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Just Another Day Originally written 4-15-11
Hey!!
Okay so right now, I'm wayy tired.
Comp. ended early and I'm in the library. I freaking hope that history gets out early as well. I'm unfortunately not going home this weekend but hopefully I can get a lot ofstudying done since I've got a monster US History test Monday. I've really gotta get my crap together and get on the ball with all this homework.
Ughh..this is gonna be a really long day. I'm dreading, dreading, dreading all of it . LOL!!
Okay well...I'm outta here..
So yeah...I basically just hung out all day and did homework. Yeahh...Real eventful, right? So yeah..anyway..
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Okay so right now, I'm wayy tired.
Comp. ended early and I'm in the library. I freaking hope that history gets out early as well. I'm unfortunately not going home this weekend but hopefully I can get a lot ofstudying done since I've got a monster US History test Monday. I've really gotta get my crap together and get on the ball with all this homework.
Ughh..this is gonna be a really long day. I'm dreading, dreading, dreading all of it . LOL!!
Okay well...I'm outta here..
So yeah...I basically just hung out all day and did homework. Yeahh...Real eventful, right? So yeah..anyway..
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Matters of the Heart Originally Written 4-14-11
Heyy!!
Okay so today has been relatively relaxing.
I've been hanging out pretty much all day.
Uhm..so it's been pretty interesting day.
Dad called me and from what he told me..and as I'm writing this, the familiar sting of unshed tears set in.
He said that he was cleaning out the garage and he apparently found something that I wrote him when I was little.. That had to be one of the most emotional conversations I've had with him.
He was like "I've been really concerned about you lately. I hope everything's okay with you."
I was trying to fight back the tears and was like "Yeah. Everything's fine". It made me think about how many secrets and lies that have become the new normal for me lately.
I seriously hate this unshakeable feeling of being such a let-down to both him and mom :-(
Needless to say, upon hanging up, I finally broke down in tears and it definitely put a bit of a somber overcast over my day..Soo...
Note that it was around 4pm and it was like pitch black outside. There was a hella crazy storm and I was home alone. It was like thundering and lightening...annnddd...then it started hailing. I about flipped the fuck out. I was like "Holy shit..what the hell do I do!?" I was pretty effing scared.
Soo...who says my life isn't interesting?? LMAO!
'kay.., well I'm gonna end it here since I gotta get to bed.
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Okay so today has been relatively relaxing.
I've been hanging out pretty much all day.
Uhm..so it's been pretty interesting day.
Dad called me and from what he told me..and as I'm writing this, the familiar sting of unshed tears set in.
He said that he was cleaning out the garage and he apparently found something that I wrote him when I was little.. That had to be one of the most emotional conversations I've had with him.
He was like "I've been really concerned about you lately. I hope everything's okay with you."
I was trying to fight back the tears and was like "Yeah. Everything's fine". It made me think about how many secrets and lies that have become the new normal for me lately.
I seriously hate this unshakeable feeling of being such a let-down to both him and mom :-(
Needless to say, upon hanging up, I finally broke down in tears and it definitely put a bit of a somber overcast over my day..Soo...
Note that it was around 4pm and it was like pitch black outside. There was a hella crazy storm and I was home alone. It was like thundering and lightening...annnddd...then it started hailing. I about flipped the fuck out. I was like "Holy shit..what the hell do I do!?" I was pretty effing scared.
Soo...who says my life isn't interesting?? LMAO!
'kay.., well I'm gonna end it here since I gotta get to bed.
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Too Much to Do, Too Little Time Originally Written 4-13-11
Hey!!
Okay so right now I'm hanging out in the library!
I'm really tired but I've got a TON of stuff to catch up on since the ignorant bitch's Bible study thing is starting back up....Not really sure if I'm going but we shall see.
I've got
6 assignments for Comp.
2 papers to start
Vacuum
Make my bed
Pick up clothes
Clean my bathroom
Clean my desk
Work on my resource file
Do lesson plan
Full day? Sadly yes.
Well, I've gotta head to US History in a couple of minutes.
I'll write more later.
Hey..so..today was in all actuality seimi productive.
I did everything but the homework and vacuuming :-(
I went to the ignorant bitch's house.
I felt...I don't know..like there was tension in the air. Maybe it was just me.
Uhm..so when I got back, I was like dead tired.
And after a couple cups of tea, I kind of got some energy back. Annd..the time is now after midnight so I'm gonna go ahead and get to bed.
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Okay so right now I'm hanging out in the library!
I'm really tired but I've got a TON of stuff to catch up on since the ignorant bitch's Bible study thing is starting back up....Not really sure if I'm going but we shall see.
I've got
6 assignments for Comp.
2 papers to start
Vacuum
Make my bed
Pick up clothes
Clean my bathroom
Clean my desk
Work on my resource file
Do lesson plan
Full day? Sadly yes.
Well, I've gotta head to US History in a couple of minutes.
I'll write more later.
Hey..so..today was in all actuality seimi productive.
I did everything but the homework and vacuuming :-(
I went to the ignorant bitch's house.
I felt...I don't know..like there was tension in the air. Maybe it was just me.
Uhm..so when I got back, I was like dead tired.
And after a couple cups of tea, I kind of got some energy back. Annd..the time is now after midnight so I'm gonna go ahead and get to bed.
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Beautiful Girls Originally Written 4-12-11
Hey!!
Oaky so right now I'm sitting in the dining room waiting on my hair to dry so we can go eat!
Heyy..Oka so I'm gettin' ready to go get the nails done.
We ate at Las Fuentes! and then went to Walmart.
Now we're gettin ready to head up to Hastings..
Okay so I just got back..things went awesome and now we're headed to the dorms.
Hey!!
Okay so I just got here. I'm about to unpack, do some laundry, have a little dinner and then go to bed early!
Peace out, Girl scout!
Oaky so right now I'm sitting in the dining room waiting on my hair to dry so we can go eat!
Heyy..Oka so I'm gettin' ready to go get the nails done.
We ate at Las Fuentes! and then went to Walmart.
Now we're gettin ready to head up to Hastings..
Okay so I just got back..things went awesome and now we're headed to the dorms.
Hey!!
Okay so I just got here. I'm about to unpack, do some laundry, have a little dinner and then go to bed early!
Peace out, Girl scout!
Momma Mia, Here We Go Again! Originally Written 4-11-11
Hey!!
Okay so right now, I'm in the library until US History starts!!
The beauty of today being that I'm going home!
I definitely need a day or 2 away from everything!! Dear God!!
Hahaha..Okay so Yeahh..I'm gonna write more later.
Oh hey...I'm goin' to Bacone and gettin' my hair did too!!
HELLS YEAH!!
Heyy!! Okay so I just got home and I'm loving my hair!
Bacone went sawesome!! I am almsot officially enrolled for summer and fall. HELLA EXCITED!! I definitely need to be there. It'll be freaking amazing to be back there!!
Well, I'm outta here since tomorrow will be a reealllyy busy day!
Peace out, Girl scout!
Okay so right now, I'm in the library until US History starts!!
The beauty of today being that I'm going home!
I definitely need a day or 2 away from everything!! Dear God!!
Hahaha..Okay so Yeahh..I'm gonna write more later.
Oh hey...I'm goin' to Bacone and gettin' my hair did too!!
HELLS YEAH!!
Heyy!! Okay so I just got home and I'm loving my hair!
Bacone went sawesome!! I am almsot officially enrolled for summer and fall. HELLA EXCITED!! I definitely need to be there. It'll be freaking amazing to be back there!!
Well, I'm outta here since tomorrow will be a reealllyy busy day!
Peace out, Girl scout!
I Got..You Got..the Sweet Sweet Victory of Jesus Originally written 4-10-11
Hey!!
Okay so today's Sunday.
I am soo glad that I'm going home tomorrow!! Today I finally finished the paper I was writing for a frend.
Never again!!
Uhmm..Yeahh..It's late and I'm really tired with an extremely early start tomorrow!!
Peace out, Girl Scout!
Okay so today's Sunday.
I am soo glad that I'm going home tomorrow!! Today I finally finished the paper I was writing for a frend.
Never again!!
Uhmm..Yeahh..It's late and I'm really tired with an extremely early start tomorrow!!
Peace out, Girl Scout!
Workin 4 a Livin' Originally Written 4-9-11
Heyy!
Okay so today's Saturday!
Uhm..Yeahh...I basically just spent the whole day doing my own homework and also working on a paper for a friend of mine, who is paying me to write a paper for her.
I swear, I am definitely not charging enough!!
LOL!! Uhm..Yeahh...that's pretty much it!
So yeah..Imma go!
Peace out, Girl scout!
Okay so today's Saturday!
Uhm..Yeahh...I basically just spent the whole day doing my own homework and also working on a paper for a friend of mine, who is paying me to write a paper for her.
I swear, I am definitely not charging enough!!
LOL!! Uhm..Yeahh...that's pretty much it!
So yeah..Imma go!
Peace out, Girl scout!
Short, Sweet, and to the Point Originally written 4-8-11
Hey!!
So you honestly have no idea how tired I am.
Oh, my God!! Okay so Ididn't get to bed until close to 4a and I had to be up crazy early for class this morning. So I'm sitting here in the library, waiting for US History to start. I'm soo anxious to get that paper handed in today!!
Ugh...After class, it is gonna be nap time for mee!
Okay, well..I gotta go...I'll write more later.
Hey!! I'm back.
Okay so today was relatively uneventful.
Uhm...I turned in my History paper and slept most of the day...well, I'm freaking tired!!
Peace out, Girl Scout!!
So you honestly have no idea how tired I am.
Oh, my God!! Okay so Ididn't get to bed until close to 4a and I had to be up crazy early for class this morning. So I'm sitting here in the library, waiting for US History to start. I'm soo anxious to get that paper handed in today!!
Ugh...After class, it is gonna be nap time for mee!
Okay, well..I gotta go...I'll write more later.
Hey!! I'm back.
Okay so today was relatively uneventful.
Uhm...I turned in my History paper and slept most of the day...well, I'm freaking tired!!
Peace out, Girl Scout!!
Rant and Rave Originally Written 4-7-11
Hey!
Okay so today I don't have class at all..Yay!
Uhmm...I'm thinking that today is..it HAS to be all about homework.
We'll see..uhm..yeah..so I'll write more later.
Okay so I decided to go meet with the ignorant bitch...to really be honest...I know that this is going to make me sound like the most 2-faced ungrateful bitch on the face of the earth..but it seems like the more I meet with her, the more and more I am convinced that by going back to Bacone, I'm definitely sure that I'm making the right move.
I think that I more than likely have said all of this before but now..more than ever...I know that I'm making the right decision.
What's more is that no matter what anyone says, I'm gonna do whatever the hell I want and that's all there is to it.
Screw what everyone says. I will be freaking damned if I let anyone from this cult dictate where I go to school next fall, or if I do whatever whenever.
Well, enough of this rant...It's 11:30pm and I haven't even started on my US History paper.
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Okay so today I don't have class at all..Yay!
Uhmm...I'm thinking that today is..it HAS to be all about homework.
We'll see..uhm..yeah..so I'll write more later.
Okay so I decided to go meet with the ignorant bitch...to really be honest...I know that this is going to make me sound like the most 2-faced ungrateful bitch on the face of the earth..but it seems like the more I meet with her, the more and more I am convinced that by going back to Bacone, I'm definitely sure that I'm making the right move.
I think that I more than likely have said all of this before but now..more than ever...I know that I'm making the right decision.
What's more is that no matter what anyone says, I'm gonna do whatever the hell I want and that's all there is to it.
Screw what everyone says. I will be freaking damned if I let anyone from this cult dictate where I go to school next fall, or if I do whatever whenever.
Well, enough of this rant...It's 11:30pm and I haven't even started on my US History paper.
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Another Day in Paradise Originally written 4-6-11
Hey!!
Okay so right now I'm just sitting here.
This is gonna be short.
Today I went to class and it was interesting.
After that, I did homework and unfortunately, it seems like when one assignment gets done, 2 more pop up....ohh goodness.
Okay so I guess it's time to get back to it!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Okay so right now I'm just sitting here.
This is gonna be short.
Today I went to class and it was interesting.
After that, I did homework and unfortunately, it seems like when one assignment gets done, 2 more pop up....ohh goodness.
Okay so I guess it's time to get back to it!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Bulletproof Originally written 4-5-11
Hey!!
Okay so.. guess what?
My instincts were dead on. That stupid ignorant bitch essentially made me meet with her.
Oh, Dear God..that was one crazy ass meeting.
She basically said that if I go back to Bacone, disaster would hit.
I was thinking "Yeah..okay..whatever"
There are so many things that I want ot say that I feel like I can't. I don't feel loved here. At. All.
I feel like I'm just a number. It fucking sucks to no end. It pisses me off when she kept saying that "I was in no shape emotionally and/or spiritually to even make a decision like going back to Bacone"...WTF?!
I basically have it all mapped out in my head that when she wants me to let my guard down, my thinking will always be "When Hell freezes over!!"
That's not gonna happen.
My mind's made up and that's all there is to it.
If she think's I'm gonna open up and pour my heart out..she's got another thing coming...This time:
I WILL BE BULLETPROOF!!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Okay so.. guess what?
My instincts were dead on. That stupid ignorant bitch essentially made me meet with her.
Oh, Dear God..that was one crazy ass meeting.
She basically said that if I go back to Bacone, disaster would hit.
I was thinking "Yeah..okay..whatever"
There are so many things that I want ot say that I feel like I can't. I don't feel loved here. At. All.
I feel like I'm just a number. It fucking sucks to no end. It pisses me off when she kept saying that "I was in no shape emotionally and/or spiritually to even make a decision like going back to Bacone"...WTF?!
I basically have it all mapped out in my head that when she wants me to let my guard down, my thinking will always be "When Hell freezes over!!"
That's not gonna happen.
My mind's made up and that's all there is to it.
If she think's I'm gonna open up and pour my heart out..she's got another thing coming...This time:
I WILL BE BULLETPROOF!!
Peace out, Girl scout!!
So Much to Do, So Little Time Originally written 4-4-11
Hey!!
Okay so right now I'm sitting up here in the library. I've got soo much homework to do!!
I've got so much going on this week.
So far today, I've got:
4 assignments for Comp.
The thing for "Rihanna"
My lesson plan
and 2 papers that are comin' up.
**Sigh** This is gonna be a really long day and I am so praying that I don't have to meet with a bitch from Hell today.
Unfortunately, I'm sure that I will..hmm..haha.
Okay well, I gotta go for awhile.
Hey!! I'm back!
Okay so the fact that I was able to dodge calls and texts from a certain someone was a success but I've got a feeling that tomorrow I'm gonna have to buck up and meet with this ignorant bitch.
I'm not looking forward to that. At. All.
Then, fast forwarding to class tonight..we had a relatively short yet fun Methods of Art class.
Ughh...The cycle of homework will NEVER end! Thank God I have all day tomorrow to catch up on homework. :-)
Peace out, Girl scout!!
Okay so right now I'm sitting up here in the library. I've got soo much homework to do!!
I've got so much going on this week.
So far today, I've got:
4 assignments for Comp.
The thing for "Rihanna"
My lesson plan
and 2 papers that are comin' up.
**Sigh** This is gonna be a really long day and I am so praying that I don't have to meet with a bitch from Hell today.
Unfortunately, I'm sure that I will..hmm..haha.
Okay well, I gotta go for awhile.
Hey!! I'm back!
Okay so the fact that I was able to dodge calls and texts from a certain someone was a success but I've got a feeling that tomorrow I'm gonna have to buck up and meet with this ignorant bitch.
I'm not looking forward to that. At. All.
Then, fast forwarding to class tonight..we had a relatively short yet fun Methods of Art class.
Ughh...The cycle of homework will NEVER end! Thank God I have all day tomorrow to catch up on homework. :-)
Peace out, Girl scout!!
A Full Day Originally written 4-3-11
Hey!! So today I went to church, packed up to come back to the dorm, ate, went to Starbucks, and came back to the dorm.
Well, looks like this is the final countdown.
5 weeks and counting!!
I've got a hella early day tomorrow!!
Peace out, girl scout!!
Well, looks like this is the final countdown.
5 weeks and counting!!
I've got a hella early day tomorrow!!
Peace out, girl scout!!
??? Originally written: 4-12-11
Hey!!
So I'm tired and this will be short.
I went to the mall with madre...got a pedicure...went to Barnes and Noble...and came home.
I'm freaking tired.
Peace out, Girl Scout!!
So I'm tired and this will be short.
I went to the mall with madre...got a pedicure...went to Barnes and Noble...and came home.
I'm freaking tired.
Peace out, Girl Scout!!
TGIF Originally written 4-1-11
Hey!!
Okay so at the moment, I'm sitting in the library, snacking on junk food...I know..not the best but Iwas like "If I don't eat anything soon, I'm gonna be sick!" So Yeahh..Ughh..
Thank You, Dear Lord sweet Baby Jesus that I'm going home!! God, I cannot leave this damn place fast enough. I've got a huge mountain of homework so we pretty damn well know what my evening tonight will be consisting of. Kill. Me. Now. I'm hoping I can get my Theology and US History papers done by tomorrow so I can get this printed. This should be fun. Baha.
Hopefully I can get my hair and nails did sometime today too. God knows them puppies need help!!
We'll see. Bahaha!!
I'm soo ready for class to start!!! I've got like another 10 minutes before I have to head down there.
Ugh...on a lighter note, I'm hoping I can start the Philip Mohabir book..I think it's called like Hands of Jesus or something.
Anyway...one of my instructors keep raving about it.
So we'll see...okay well I'm gonna go for a while!!
Hey I'm back!! Okay so it's around 2am. It's been a hella long day.
I got my acceptance letter to Bacone!! HELLLSS YEAHH!!
I am so excited but that also means that the time has come for me to announce me not coming back to Family of Faith. How do you bring up an incredibly difficult subject like that? When is the right time to tell the truth?
Well, I gotta go!!
Peace out, Girl Scout!!
Bye
Okay so at the moment, I'm sitting in the library, snacking on junk food...I know..not the best but Iwas like "If I don't eat anything soon, I'm gonna be sick!" So Yeahh..Ughh..
Thank You, Dear Lord sweet Baby Jesus that I'm going home!! God, I cannot leave this damn place fast enough. I've got a huge mountain of homework so we pretty damn well know what my evening tonight will be consisting of. Kill. Me. Now. I'm hoping I can get my Theology and US History papers done by tomorrow so I can get this printed. This should be fun. Baha.
Hopefully I can get my hair and nails did sometime today too. God knows them puppies need help!!
We'll see. Bahaha!!
I'm soo ready for class to start!!! I've got like another 10 minutes before I have to head down there.
Ugh...on a lighter note, I'm hoping I can start the Philip Mohabir book..I think it's called like Hands of Jesus or something.
Anyway...one of my instructors keep raving about it.
So we'll see...okay well I'm gonna go for a while!!
Hey I'm back!! Okay so it's around 2am. It's been a hella long day.
I got my acceptance letter to Bacone!! HELLLSS YEAHH!!
I am so excited but that also means that the time has come for me to announce me not coming back to Family of Faith. How do you bring up an incredibly difficult subject like that? When is the right time to tell the truth?
Well, I gotta go!!
Peace out, Girl Scout!!
Bye
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