Saturday, September 24, 2011

Silly Rabbit, Cheetos are for Breakfast!! 4-27-11

Hey!!
Okay so right now, I'm in the library.

I've had a relatively relaxing morning so far.
I got all of my portfolio stuff printed and now I'm gettin' ready to head to US History.
Hey! I'm back!!
Okay so right now, I'm sitting in Theology!
So I kicked ass on my Theology test...It was 20 point boost over the last test.
So I get to meet with Bitch from Hell tomorrow.
Dreading, dreading..Dreading!!My life pretty much sucks.
On a happier note..I have 4 sessions left!!
THANK GOD!!
I don't give a flying fuck if graduation and all that other bull shit is mandatory.

I'm getting the hell out of dodge!I unfortunately am not going home this weekend and am stuck here!
At this point...I don't give a damn about what these corrupt ass peoiple say about this false prophesy bull shit. or what the hell ever over me, claming they're being prompted by God. To be honest, I think that to an extent, I will always be thankful for being able to spend a year here. I would rather leave this experience knowing that I've experienced it..rather than always wonder "what if". I think I also needed to spend a year out on my own to grow up and mature. I also think that I would have regretted not coming here and having this experience.
In other ways, I will always be grateful for having the classroom experience and other classes that have better equipped me for my future career.

In other ways, I wish I had never come here because when I began the process to come here last summer, it seemed like everyone was hard core all like "we love you"...Oh..my God..It's only been an hour..hahaha..I'm gonna be here FOREVER!! Okay..so..Like I was saying...it feels like I'm seriously flying solo because I feel like not one of the admin or what the hell ever does not have my best interests at heart. I honest to God do not feel loved or accepted here.

It pisses me off and it hurts me to absolutely no fucking end that LT of all people was willing to step up and try to reach out and try to help me. It sucks that knowing that I was a biitttccchhhh to him...It seems like when you're a student at Family of Faith...you are nothing but a number.
I hated how everyone was all in my personal life and my personal, private business. It freaking pisses me off knowing htat this is where I'm at. I hate living this life where I have this non shakable feeling of being so confined and so damn suffocated and being like a brainwashed robotic puppet. The silver lining in all of this is the fact that I've learned the fucking ugly unforgiving truth that you never know what you've got until it's gone. Being away from Bacone this year has definitely helped me better appreciate how much I truly love Bacone and how wrong I was for bitching about how I hated the dorms, praise team, and the dramatic BS that I always had to deal with. This experience has ultimately taught me that it's time to come home. It's time to confront the demons and stuff that I ran from. So..time flew by and I have less than an hour left of class. I have a crap load of stuff to do when I get back..Oh..and someone gave me this cute card/note thing. This is what it said:

Sarah:

I pray you would let the truth-God's truth set you free. I pray God will work in your life in major ways. God has a great plan and destiny for your life but you have to choose to walk in it. Sarah, I know you have compassion for others and I pray you would soften your heart again. I pray that you would grow in your walk with God. May God bless and keep you, May His face shine upon you, and be gracious and give you peace (Praying for you!)

Needless to say, that this was extremely needed right now and as much as this particular person pisses me off sometimes, it's great to have the feeling of having at least one person there for me.

Damn, this thing is a lot longer than I thought it would be!


Peace out, Girl scout!!

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