This is a post that I've been wanting to write for a while and I was debating about whether or not I was actually going to write it...but after seeing the finale of the Oprah Winfrey Show, there was mention of a Gratitude Journal..and being a writer, I thought "what a more appropriate way to start this!" So here it is..the post that I've been wanting to write for so long. hahaha.
As I sit here on my couch and watch the horrid trainwreck that is MTV's 16 and Pregnant...I realize just how much I unknowingly take for granted.
After watching Season 1 of 16 and Pregnant as well as the finale of the first season of Teen Mom...I realize just how lucky I am for the morals and the values that my parents imparted into my life.
As I watched (and cried) Catelynn and Tyler from Season 1...There was something Tyler said that I guess kind of haunted me...even to this day where he said "I wish I had a dad who spent time with me and who took me to the park when I was little".
I never thought about it but it made me realize just how lucky and how extremely blessed I am that I was raised in church and that I have had 2 parents there to push me to strive to be the best I can be in all that I do. As much as they have been my motivation and my drive to succeed in everything, they have also been there to catch me when I fall short. They are what keeps me grounded and I know that there is no way that I could have made it this far without them.
Again, I never thought about it, but after seeing so many of my friends that come from one parent homes, it put a lot of things into perspective for me.
I guess I've always felt this way but have never expressed it...I don't know..hahaha...but it definitely made me think about how I never expressed to my parents about how grateful and how thankful I am for the way that they both have stood by me every hour of every day for almost 21 years and how thankful I am for that. I'm thankful for having the security of knowing that no matter what, they will be there for me.
Words cannot even come remotely close to how grateful I am for the way that I was raised in church and how I was raised to believe that education comes first. Again, until I let the powerful words of Tyler sink into my mind, I never realized how self-centered and how much of a spoiled brat I really am. It really does sting to know really how much my parents have sacrificed to give me such a blessed and privileged life.
If anything, it makes me ill to realize how much I take their support for granted.
To put an all too fine of a point on it, it pisses me off to no end that I have myself come against the relationship between my dad and I. It freaking sucks because I know that to protect myself for one stupid, selfish reason or another, I have allowed the friggin' Homeland Security concrete-ass wall to guard my heart from being hurt again get in the way of having the father/daughter relationship that I so badly want to have with him. Again, it pisses me off that I feel like I can't let my guard down enough to let that happen. I hate it. I hate how effing cold and jaded I have become the past 4 or 5 years.
But, back to the point of the matter and I am so lost in where I want to go with this I lost my train of thought...Oh yeah..gratitude.
Uhm...yeah, still lost. This is the first time this blog has ended itself.
So in review, I'm pretty damn grateful for:
- Number one...I'm thankful for having parents that are so involved, even in college, in all that I do.
- Number two...Even though we fight and butt heads, I know that there is no way in HELL I could be where I am in life without having my dad there by my side and even though I've never told him this, I really do appreciate it and I know that at the end of the day, I love him more than words can say and I'm his baby.
- Number three...I think I'm probably most grateful for being raised in a Christian home where God comes before everything else. I think that I've waayyy understated how much being raised in church has shaped me into the person I am today.
- Number 4....I'm grateful for the support that my parents have poured out and have also imparted into my life.
- Number 5....compared to everything else that I've listed here, this seems so minor and so trivial...but I'm grateful for having parents that took me places when I was little. I'm so grateful for the time my mom and I spend together whether it's shopping together...and I'm also grateful for the dinners that my dad and I have together. Even if it's just a couple hours without any type of distractions and just he and I catching up on everything, it definitely makes my week.
I think the only way to really end this is with that Scripture where it states "Raise your children in the way they should go, and when they are older, they will not depart from it".
And for that reason and for so many others, this is why I am so grateful for the little day-to-day things that we often overlook or don't give much attention to.
Peace out, Girl Scout!!
Byee!!
